Would You Rather? Part 3: Singing, Solitude and Snooping

Would you rather find your true love or a suitcase with £5m inside?

Well, as I’ve already met my true love I’m set for that, so the £5m would be a lot more useful.

Would you rather be completely invisible for one day or be able to fly for one day?

If this was a long term thing I would pick flight because I just think that would be cooler, and I think being invisible would be more annoying than people think.

But for one day it might be quite fun to sneak around and see what goes on behind closed doors, and I don’t mean that in a creepy “go into the girls’ showers” way. I think it would be interesting to go snooping in the corridors of power or just see what celebrities do in their own homes.

Basically I’m a nosy bugger.

Would you rather have to read aloud every word you read or sing everything you say out loud?

It has to be the singing, doesn’t it?

As embarrassing as that would be, imagine having to read out every text message you received, or every private letter or email? Not only would you look a bit of a numpty but you’d also potentially embarrass others and create all kinds of dramas.

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So, on this one I’d rather walk around singing everything like a tone deaf Phantom.

Would you rather live a comfortable and peaceful life in a small cabin in the woods or life full of conflict in a mansion in the city? 

Small cabin in the woods. Who wants conflict all the time? Easy one, that.

Would you rather your shirts always be two sizes too big or one size too small?

As an insecure fat man, I would obviously go for the two sizes too big. I hate clothes that cling to me, as they seem to accentuate my belly and other wobbly bits.

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That being said, I was once told by a girl in a club that I’d look better in less baggy clothes. It was a while back after I’d lost some weight and the shirt was hanging off me, but it was an odd backhanded compliment to receive from a stranger.

Would you rather have edible spaghetti hair that regrows every night or sweat maple syrup?

Sweating syrup sounds utterly revolting. You’d be sticky all the time when it got hot, have to change your sheets every day and get chased by bees all the damn time.

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Edible spaghetti hair for me, I think.

Would you rather be lost in a bad part of town or lost in the woods?

Neither seems ideal, but at least a bad part of town has streets and signposts so that I could work my way out. I’d rather that than blindly stumbling through the woods, running into who knows what.

Also, call me soft but even in “bad parts” of town most people are basically alright and if you asked for directions they’d help you out.

In the woods I’d have to try and remember things like what side of the tree moss grows on, or pray to find someone out in the woods.

Disagree? You know what to do. BETEO.

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