Rewatch: Snog Marry Avoid?

In an old job I used to work a lot of night shifts, and discovered that the gods of late night TV were fickle. They’d occasionally bless you with a late night showing of some obscure movie or a repeat of a quality show, but often it was a wasteland of repeats, infomercials and tedium.

The best options were usually trashy TV- reality shows, light hearted documentaries or the soap operas. At 3am all you really want is something to keep you awake. Nothing too challenging or grim, ideally something fun and light. The two best channels for this were E4 and the now defunct BBC Three.

One personal favourite was Snog Marry Avoid?, which ticked the boxes- light, dumb, easy viewing. But last week I caught an old episode on TV.

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It was awful.

I remember it being quite cheerful, jokey and fun. But watching it again it left an extremely unpleasant taste in the mouth.

For those unfamiliar with the show the premise is simple: People are brought in to POD aka Personal Overhaul Device, which was a computer that would give them a “make under”. It announced itself as being pro-natural beauty and declaring “war on fakery”. Hair extensions, lots of make up, fake tan, fake eyelashes- these were what the show was against and it would transform them into more natural vision.

Now, originally I considered this all quite good fun, but maybe I’m going soft but it really isn’t. While still nicer than the US version, which I had to stop watching halfway through one episode, there is a rather nasty side to the show, even if they mask it with montages, upbeat music and Jenny Frost’s cheery presenting.

First of all, the whole premise is dodgy as hell. You’re basically telling people how they should look (it’s predominantly women, but they did have a few guys on the show), and that’s not cool. Watching it back it feels like a massive attack on individuality and choice, with “fakery” being bad and a more understated look being good.

They’d choose extreme cases (girl who applies three layers of fake tan, guy who takes 2 hours to get ready etc.) but even these seem a bit mean spirited. They liked how they dressed or felt comfortable that way why give them grief for it? What makes the natural look so morally superior?

Secondly, the title of the show highlights the meanest part.

Once they’ve dragged the person in front of the camera they’d explain that they’d asked 100 people whether they would snog, marry or avoid the participant (I’m guessing “f**k, marry, kill” would have been a bit too risque a title). We then get a couple of talking heads where the public insult them or explain they would avoid them as they were “trashy” or fake.

It’s quite hard watching a young person hearing people talking smack about their appearance so bluntly. While some fire back you can genuinely see that some of them are getting quite hurt by the criticism, and can you blame them? Imagine having to stand there while some stranger says they’d avoid you because you look a mess.

Making it worse is the fact that they then hit them with a percentage, usually quite high for avoid.

As it’s usually women in front of POD, it’s basically telling them to change for men’s approval and ignores the fact that some of those participants may be lying. I think a lot of the guys were being less than honest about which girls they would snog given the chance. Regardless, just because 80 guys say they would steer clear that still leaves 20 who’d snog you, which isn’t that bad.

The next part that sucks is that POD is actually a bully. She makes quite nasty gags about what they look like and ridicules them. Jenny Frost is the good cop, making a few light hearted gags about how long it must take them to get ready or how much of their hair is actually theirs, and then POD comes in like an insult comic who then turns preachy.

The contestant is then stripped down to a robe, robbed of anything that is unique to them and scrubbed of make up until they are a blank canvass for the show to turn them into a more acceptable version.

For a show that bangs on about people following trends it seems to be determined that women everywhere should wear pretty dresses and only have tans in the summer. That makeup should be applied in a minimal way and that everybody shun hair extensions.

There’s a dull quality to many of the make unders. It turns them into bland, mainstream versions of themselves. For example, here’s Jodie Marsh:

jodie-before_after__726928a

Often this is for reasons like the person has to be “taken seriously” or fit a perceived idea of how someone should look when they’re a mother or professional. Rather than questioning whether it’s fair to judge on appearance the show just decides that they should change to fall into line.

There’s no thought given to the fact that the make up and loud outfits are in any way helpful to them. That it serves as a mask or armour for their insecurities or a way of showing their personality, nope, it’s just shown as being stupid and ugly.

Last of all is a definite streak of slut shaming, with countless of the girls being called out for wearing skimpy clothes. Even back when I was watching the show and enjoying it I thought this was a weird aspect. Being scantily clad wasn’t being fake, was it? And again, this was where the show sided with those who made judgments based on looks.

With a fresh look the cheery, fun vibe starts to crack. The montages are crafted to make them look ridiculous and feature their friends and family ragging on them. Then the partners get involved, talking about how they dress, which smacks of hypocrisy. They started to  date the person as they were and now want to change them? That seems like a d**k move.

Jenny Frost talks about how bad the fakery is, but she’s not out there without makeup. It’s all bollocks.

You could make a show about natural beauty, and discuss things like society’s pressure on women to look a certain way. The risks of some treatments and the problems of how important looks are, but this show does none of these things.

It just sits there, smugly looking down its nose at those involved, ridiculing and humiliating them based on their looks. It wants everyone to fit within a narrow field of what’s considered attractive and criticises anyone who falls outside those confines.

If you like to wear makeup and fake tan, then crack on. If people judge you on what you wear then screw them, that’s their problem.

Watching it again the show is terrible, and I’m going to avoid it from now on.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.

 

 

 


Kim & Ko should feel insulted

I have a guilty affection for the Kardashians. Yes, I know that they’re ridiculously over exposed in the press and largely talentless, but having been unwillingly subjected to their many TV shows (I don’t get much of a say over what’s on TV at work) I must admit I kind of have an odd liking for them.

Too many Ks!- Kourtney, Kim and Khloe.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still baffled at how they’ve become quite so famous, but I find their show amusing in a mindless kind of way and I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for Khloe, who I think is quite foxy and endearingly gobby on their show.

Khloe Kardashian- Endearingly gobby.

But I felt a little insulted on their behalf when I read an article about a family who have been dubbed the “Kardashians of the East Midlands”, the family in question are the Marshalls who hold the dubious honour of being “Britain’s most cosmetically enhanced family”. Next to them, the Kardashians look like the Windsors.

The matriarch of the family, Chantal, has undergone 4 boob jobs, and her four eldest daughters- Emma, Tara, Terri and Ripley- have had 10 between them, which have made them looking like a series of illustrations demonstrating how Barbie would age.

The Marshalls

I have nothing against people who have cosmetic surgery, its a personal choice and I know that for some women a boob job is something that helps them feel more confident in themselves, which is definitely a good thing.

And, unlike a lot of the guys they poll on Snog Marry Avoid, I’m not going to lie, and I don’t have a massive problem with the “fake” look. I mean, its not the look I find most attractive, but I don’t feel as strongly about it as some people do.

But the Marshall family completely baffle me. They’ve spent £50,000 on boob jobs and between them have almost 3 litres of silicon inside them.

However, the point that I really lost patience with Chantal is already pushing for her youngest daughter, Britney, to get a boob job. The thing is that Britney is 14.

Chantal stated:

we’ve already starting talking about her getting a boob job. At the moment she doesn’t really have what I would say are boobs — but I’d like her to follow in her sisters’ footsteps.

Well done, lady, way to make your teenage daughter feel insecure about her body. Girls face enough pressure as it is, without their own mother commenting on the fact they don’t have any breasts.

Now, Britney is quite a pretty girl (I can say that, right? Its okay to say that a 14 year old is pretty, I’m not going to get lynched by an angry mob for putting that here, am I? I want to point out there’s a difference between saying that a girl is pretty and being sexually attracted to them) and I find it horrifying to think that she might be pushed to follow this bizarre family tradition and go down the route of painful, needless operations.

Chantal may have chosen to have an operation for personal reasons, but there’s something a little bit disturbing about the way she wants all her daughters to join her in this and go out as a busty, blonde gang together. Its almost like she’s not letting her daughters become individuals and is just interested in making a series of clones of herself, kind of like Dr Evil did with Mini-Me.

The Marshall women with Britney in the front.

You can read the article that inspired this blog here.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.