Cats and Zombies

2AM. Saturday morning.

I have only a few hours until I have to get up for work, but I’m wide awake. And sleep isn’t going to come easily.

Why aren’t I asleep?

Because I’ve just had a nightmare.

Yes, like a little kid, a bad dream has jolted me awake and now I’m lying in the dark, every noise transformed into something ominous by fear.

The dream started off well enough, with me as a cowboy. There was a shoot out between James Stewart and Audie Murphy, which left both dead. And then undead Audie got to his feet. Yes, Walking Dead style, it didn’t take a bite, but I blame George A. Romero as I’d been thinking about his movies a lot in the last week and eager to watch Dawn of the Dead again. Perhaps this was my subconscious’ tribute to the director?


I managed to cuff Jimmy before he revived, but Audie bit another person. Having dropped the most decorated zombie in Hollywood, I saw the other zombie pursuing my cat, Midnight. Out of bullets (isn’t that always the way?), I hastily ran and shoved the zombie into a side room and grabbed Midnight.

Unfortunately the living dead opened the door and seized me from behind. It went to bite my neck.

At this point I awoke, but still gripped by the fading terror of the nightmare, I actually awoke in the process of throwing my elbow in defence.

Luckily the biter had come from the right and I was elbowing thin air. On the left and I would have clocked MWF in the face and probably sporting a shiner. And I suspect that her coworkers would have heard “my boyfriend elbowed me in the face while asleep because of a nightmare” and assumed it was a flimsy excuse, a slightly more inventive version of “I walked into a door”.

Luckily, Pumpkin, who in the dream was sensible enough to avoid the walkers, jumped into the bed and huddled in by my arm. Stroking him calmed me down and eventually I fell back asleep. And this time, without any nightmares.

Thank the gods for cats.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.


Mixed Bag: Dream Homes, Nightmares and a Shameless Appeal for Free Stuff

Subjects, as ever, courtesy of Plinky and The Daily Post.

Welcome to my crib!

You have all the resources you need to build your ideal home. Tell us about it.

My dream house would ideally be on it’s own island, like the Tracy family place in Thunderbirds.

Like this, only without giant Anthea Turner next to it

Like this, only without giant Anthea Turner next to it


I’d have one massive house complete with all the trappings of a house designed by somebody who hasn’t quite grown up:

  • Swimming pool
  • Jacuzzi
  • Library- fully loaded with an eclectic mix of books
  • Comic book library- As above but all comics and graphic novels.
  • A movie theatre
  • A bar with a pool table, dart board and jukebox
  • Go Kart track
  • Batcave style lair underneath
  • Ring for mud wrestling. I watched Stripes again the other week so mud wrestling has been on my mind recently.
Googled mud wrestling and this was one of the cleanest (no pun intended) pics that came up, pretty cool cake.

Googled mud wrestling and this was one of the cleanest (no pun intended) pics that came up, pretty cool cake.

Curse you, subconscious mind!

Describe the last nightmare you remember having. What do you think it meant?

Just before Christmas I had this nightmare where my little sister and her husband had been gunned down by some kind of maniac, I didn’t witness it and in the dream I heard about it on the phone from my mum, but I woke up feeling incredibly upset, scared and disorientated. It took a few minutes of lying in bed feeling totally freaked out before I calmed down.

Is that Chris’ music?!

If you had a theme song what would it be and why?

When I was in my late teens/early 20s my big sis used to say that Blink 182’s “What’s My Age Again?” reminded her of me, and at uni I always wanted a reworking of the Shaft theme about me, but I guess I’d probably have to go with Green Day’s “Longview”

Or, if I wanted something a bit more badass and struttable, “Killed by Death” by Motorhead.

Gimme an iPod

What technological device could you not live without?

Has to be my iPod Touch, because it is freaking awesome.

I listen to music almost constantly when I go out and I use it for tons of other stuff too- checking Facebook, tweeting, as an alarm clock and of course for the addictive Angry Birds. Annoyingly mine has a bit of a cracked screen after it fell out of my pocket, so I could kind of do with a new one, so if anybody who works at Apple is reading this, can I have a free one please? I’ve had two before and I buy tons on iTunes, so please, pretty please can you send me a new one?

Movie of my Life

Which actor would you pick to play you in the movie of your life?

Their not really the right age but Seth Rogen or Jonah Hill might be alright as me, or if I was going for a Brit maybe Nick Frost with his Paul haircut.

Nick Frost in Paul

Nick Frost in Paul

Although, I always thought it’d be cool to have my biopic done as an animation, which means you could cast anyone, I’d want something completely incongruous and off the wall, like Samuel L Jackson voicing me or something.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.