Would You Rather? Part 1: Missing fingers and seeing the future

So, I recently found this list of “Would You Rather?” questions and thought they might be quite good to do as blog posts. It’ll give me something to write when I’m blocked and I figure I can run them as a regular feature on the blog. If you agree or disagree with my decisions or arguments then feel free to comment down at the bottom. Let’s dive in (decided to shuffle through randomly apart from first three):

Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early?

Initially I was going to say I’d rather be late because getting there early is a drag and sitting around waiting for someone always makes me feel awkward. But then I thought being ten minutes late would actually be more frustrating, you’d miss the start of things and more importantly always piss your mates off. So I’d go for always being early, and just make sure I took a book or had my phone charged.

ilgcp

I bet everyone got fed up of this guy

Would you rather lose all your money and valuables or all of the photos you’ve ever taken?

Call me mercenary, but I’d rather lose all the photos I’ve ever taken. I’d be able to take more photos. Thankfully I’m at a stage where I can still remember all the good times I’d want photos of, and I think it would be easier to live without them than all the cash I have.

Would you rather be able to see 10 minutes into your future or 10 minutes into the future of anyone but yourself?

I’m not entirely sure on this one, because seeing ten minutes ahead for you would be interesting but would rob you of any surprises. Ten minutes into someone else’s future might actually be cooler and more interesting. I think if you could swap who you saw that would be awesome, because you could be ahead of the curve on everything.

I’d also be able to be a great reporter as I’d always update quickly.

Would you rather be an average person today or a king 2500 years ago?

I can definitely see the appeal of being a king.

conan

It’s good to be the King

But I imagine that life 2500 years ago would be kinda dull even as a royal. No novels? No pop music? Lower life expectancy? Superstition running wild? Nah, I think I’ll stay an average Joe today.

Would you rather have no fingers or no elbows?

My first instinct was to get rid of my elbows, but then I realised how awkward it would be to walk around with constantly straight arms. It would make life so much harder and would mean I couldn’t do things like hug MWF or hold my kids in the future. So, I guess I’d have to get rid of my fingers. I just think there’s more in place to help with that than to assist an elbowless man.

Would you rather get tipsy from one sip of alcohol and ridiculously drunk from just one alcoholic drink or never get drunk regardless of how much you drink?

Tipsy off one sip would be pretty cool. I mean, it’d be easier to avoid getting absolutely hammered, as you would just not drink past a sip or two, and you’d save money to reach the fun drunk stage.

Never getting drunk would be annoying, you’d go on a night out and just be sober until the end. As someone who needs a bit of a buzz to really cut loose on the dance floor it would mean I’d never dance again, which while no loss to the world of dance would be a bummer as I quite like a boogie.

Would you rather always be able to see 5 minutes into the future or always be able to see 100 years into the future?

If it was a one time thing I would pick the 100 years option because it’d be quite cool to see where we are in a century’s time, but if it’s something I do a lot then I think the five minutes is more useful. I mean, it’d be great for gambling purposes but also be rather handy for other stuff, like fighting crime. I’m assuming I see five minutes ahead but can impact or react to it. Seeing what is going to happen with no control would just be a pain.

But how creepy would it be to look five minutes into the future and just see nothing?

Would you rather randomly time travel =/- 20 years everytime you fart or teleport to a different place on Earth (on land, not middle of ocean) whenever you sneeze?

I’m assuming you come back, right? Like fart one is forward twenty and then the second fart brings you back? And the same principle for the sneezes, right? For the purpose of this question I’m using that as the rule.

I would go for the farting one. For starters, I sneeze more often than I fart so it’s less of an inconvenience, and I also seem to sneeze when I get out of the shower, so I’d wind up just turning up at different places naked and confused. Also, I could jump into a very dangerous situation, like a less fun version of Quantum Leap.

And while that idea might seem funny to you, and might produce hilarious consequences I feel it would more likely create embarrassing and potentially legally hazardous ones.

Top 5 Worst Places to Just Appear Naked:

  1. A school, I don’t want to be on a register or scare/traumatise some kids.
  2. One of those strict countries where I’d probably get lashes/prison unless I could sneeze again.
  3. Middle of the pitch during a major sporting event, in front of thousands in attendance and millions, and millions, watching at home.
  4. Inside Buckingham Palace or the White House, as might get shot by security forces.
  5. Porn set. I can live without having to compare myself physically to a porn star in person.

Would you rather spend two years with your soulmate only to have them die and you never love again or spend your life with someone nice you settled for?

First of all, I don’t believe in soulmates. The whole idea seems daft to me, I think you’re a full person on your own and don’t need someone to complete you.

Also, I would rather have a long life with someone nice than two years and then loneliness until death. So, yeah, I’d pick the “settle” option, although the phrasing is a little harsh. I think knowing they were going to kick the bucket after two years would actually be even worse.

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Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.

 


Mixed Bag: Holy Hypotheticals, Batman

All of these are courtesy of The Daily Post’s Daily Prompts. Prompts paraphrased so I can get this posted by midnight.

Back In School

In a reversal of Big, the Tom Hanks classic, your adult self is suddenly stuck in the body of a 12 year old. How do you survive your first day in school?

I think this might not be so bad because like Rod Stewart said “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger”, I think when I was 12 I wasted far too much time worrying about what people thought about me and was quieter and shy. I’m still awkward in some situations, and I don’t think anybody is ever completely unaffected by other people’s view of them, but I’m definitely a lot more confident.

I think I was back as twelve year old Chris I’d enjoy it more, although I’d probably wind up in more trouble because I’d probably back talk teachers more. When I was at school there were plenty of times when I had a sarky comeback ready for a teacher but kept quiet, and I’d kinda like the chance to shut a teacher down on their crap.

I think I’d also be nicer and chat to the outsiders and kids who looked like they were struggling, just to let them know someone’s noticed them and maybe make them feel better.

Man in the Mirror

You wake up in a world without mirrors. How is your everyday life effected by this?

At first I thought it would make no difference, but then on further thought it would. I’m not the vainest bloke in the world but I still look in mirrors a fair amount, this is mainly to check for stray food in my teeth, lament the fact that my beard growth is still patchy and, my major use of mirrors, pulling faces. I think making silly faces at myself while I dry myself or brush my teeth would be the thing I’d miss most about mirrors.

Take This Job and Shove it

In honour of Labor Day in the States, tell us the one job you could never imagine yourself doing.

Well, I know I couldn’t be a nurse. I think two jobs I definitely couldn’t do are being a lawyer or a carer for the elderly.

Lawyer is a moral thing, I don’t think I could defend someone I thought might be guilty, or live with letting down someone I knew was innocent.

Elderly care is just me being weak. I couldn’t handle the bodily fluids, the death and the depressing sight of someone fading away. I know that sounds grim, but for me the elderly are depressing. I’ve only seen a few people very far along and the knowledge I may wind up like that strengthens my hope that I die before I get old. Forgetting who I am, losing control of my body and all that scares the crap out of me, and I couldn’t watch other people go through it without getting seriously down.

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Captain Picard drank Earl Grey, the Dude had white Russians, what would be your signature drink? And how did it achieve this status?

It probably used to be cider. I used to drink gallons of the stuff throughout uni, and still indulge now, but as I’ve got older it’s too sweet and gassy and so I’d probably say that for an alcoholic drink it’s a simple rum and coke. Dark rum, preferably (Sailor Jerry’s or Captain Morgan’s). I like it because rum has a nice warm taste which isn’t as harsh as other alcohol and it works well with the sweetness of the coke.

Non-alcoholic it’s probably tea, milk, no sugar.

Do Nothing

If money was obsolete, would you still work? How would you fill your time?

I thought this one was gonna be easy, but if money’s out of it completely then a lot of the stuff I like doing won’t be possible- without financial incentive there wouldn’t be Costa Coffee, or movies, so my plan of being constantly high on caffeine, reading books and watching flicks doesn’t work.

So I have no idea. I guess if I could get all the food and shelter I needed I wouldn’t work and just bum around a lot, but if not I’d imagine I’d be fighting for survival.

A little pointless today, I know, but I had a bit of blogger’s block and wanted to write something.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.


Mixed Bag: Food, Females and Fame

Questions courtesy of The Daily Post and Plinky.

Desert Island Dishes

You’ve been exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick?

Man, this is tough. I’m guessing by the way the question is phrased water is sorted out, so that’s drinks sorted. Plain pizza, pears, chicken, noodles and, of course, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Cue heavenly choir in background

Cue heavenly choir in background

Christina

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex for a day? What do you think life would be like?

I’m sure everyone has thought about this at some point. I think the problem is that most guys assume that if they did do the whole Freaky Friday thing they’d leap into the body of some gorgeous girl, but if it was just a presto-changeo thing you might be the female equivalent of your current self, which would be a big ‘ol mess.

However, let’s say I luck out and jump into Samaire Armstrong’s body or something.

I’m not going to lie, yes I would spend quite a lot of time, um, “exploring” my new body and stuff. And I’d also go out and get laid. Just to see what it’s like from a female perspective. I think if I was a hot girl I would be a total slut, although, y’know, a sensible one (rubber up, kids!)

I’d also just kind of creep around and eavesdrop on girl’s conversations and see what they really talk about when no guys are around, use the opportunity to buy rom coms and Michael Buble albums without being judged and see if my theory about it being easier for a girl to pull than a bloke is correct.

Oh, and I’d also go buy some flat shoes. I never get why girls wear shoes that are uncomfortable on their feet.

I wanna live forever

If you could chose to be any famous person, who would you be and why?

Nicolas Cage.

cagestyle

Wait, come back, let me explain!

Here’s the thing- Nic Cage has a strong back catalogue of movies, so he must be doing alright money wise. And also he gets to basically goof off and overract in movies now because neither he nor the audience appear to be taking him seriously anymore, although he does occasionally still make good movies. So, I’d be rich and get to ham it up for a living.

Plus, it didn’t matter how bad I messed up it’d have to be a better than The Wicker Man, right?

Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty-bitty living space!

You have been granted 3 wishes. The caveat is that you can’t wish for anything for yourself. What do you wish for?

This is quite tricky because surely wishing for your family to be fine is kind of for yourself, so to be as distant from me as possible I’d go for the following.

1. That them to discover some kind of extremely nutritious and hardy plant that grows everywhere on very little and thus end world hunger.

2. The financial crisis to work out and bankers to stop being d**ks.

3. People to be a bit more willing to accept difference and other’s beliefs, meaning a step towards world peace.

Missions: Impossible

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”- The White Queen, Alice in Wonderland

What are the six impossible things you believe in?

  1. That machines will one day rise up against us
  2. That one day there will be superheroes (who will hopefully stop the machines)
  3. True love in like a movie sort of way
  4. Jesus will return to the world and end the Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania
  5. I will score a try at the Millenium Stadium
  6. Zombies
Zombies- it's going to happen, the only question is when.

Zombies- it’s going to happen, the only question is when.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.