365 Film Challenge Part 32: The Twilight Saga

WoM is a few years younger than me, so the Twilight series came towards the end of her emo teens and as such occupy a special, nostalgic place in her heart. Where as I have no connection to them beyond having seen the first movie years ago. Near the start of our relationship we watched the first two movies before I rage quit early on into the third. But this week for some reason, this was what she decided she wanted to watch while she had a week off work.

So, here are some thoughts I have on the films Eclipse, Breaking Dawn Part 1 and Breaking Dawn Part 2 (Films 131-133):

Sheen, easily the best thing in these movies.
  1. Kristen Stewart is a decent actress, based on what I’ve seen elsewhere, but there are some painfully clunky moments in her performance. She’s not helped by a cliched and dull script.
  2. I’m 100% #TeamJacob. He’s more likeable and I don’t understand what Bella sees in Edward beyond the fact he’s good looking. He’s not funny, or particularly clever, and he’s kind of a dick.
  3. The film gets considerably better whenever Michael Sheen appears on screen, mainly because he is clearly having fun.
  4. Why did they CGI the baby? It looks so freaky and lame, just use a real baby.
  5. The werewolves are better than the vampires, and the way the vampires talk about them has massive racist undertones.
  6. Anna Kendrick is wasted here.
  7. Bella’s voiceover is whiny and irritating throughout.
  8. The two main characters are selfish pricks to pretty much everyone else.
  9. The final battle is quite fun until they piss all over that with the “it was just a vision” BS. Seriously, I was so pissed off.
  10. The last two films suffer from the fact they introduce a heap of new characters who we know next to nothing about and therefore I struggled to care about them.
  11. Tons of the scenes look like they’re from videos Kerrang! would have played in the early ’00s.
  12. Too many dream sequences.
  13. The sparkling thing is still fucking stupid.
  14. The film plays fast and loose with what it considers acceptable to be done for love. We’re supposed to be on board with Bella and Edward doing all this stuff, like being a dick to her dad, lying to people and being completely self absorbed, but the redhead vampire is a villain because she wants revenge after they killed her mate.
  15. The whole “mate” thing is super lame and along with the storyline about Bella keeping her baby despite it killing her means this feels super conservative in places.
  16. The CGI baby, I have to mention this again because it is just some of the worst and most unnecessary effects work I’ve ever seen and made me laugh out loud in the first instance.
  17. One of my favourite moments, which made me almost cry with laughter is when Dakota Fanning tosses the vampire baby into the fire. She just yeets him right into the flames.
  18. It’s a special achievement that I actually prefer the Harry Potter movies to this dross.
  19. Michael Sheen plays a vampire here, he plays a werewolf in Underworld. I can’t think of any other actors who have done both.
  20. I can’t imagine that these films age well or gain lots of new fans. I think for a very specific age group they’re probably beloved and connected with their youth, but I can’t see newer audiences taking these to their hearts.
  21. That damn CGI baby!
  22. I kinda want them to do a sequel where Michael Sheen strikes back at them and wins the day.
  23. My rankings of the series is that it gets progressively worse with every subsequent instalment.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.

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