Film Review: Artemis Fowl

Note: This is number 30 of the 365 Film Challenge. Oh, and there are spoilers ahead.

Urgh.

This movie was woeful, the idea of a young lad discovering that his dad is an international thief and criminal mastermind, and then learns that all of the stories he was told about fairies are true and there’s a secret underground world of magical creatures.

Sounds fun, right?

artemisfowl

There are glimmers of fun, of decent ideas but they get lost in a tidal wave of “meh” and a sense of it’s own coolness. Nowhere is this more obvious than the title character, who is an insufferable know-it-all, he gets over his new discussion and repeatedly states “I read about it” as justification for suddenly knowing more than other characters who seem to have been involved in the game longer.

Josh Gad does his best as an oversized dwarf thief who also narrates the film, and his character has some nice touches, like a beard that picks locks and the ability to tunnel, but he can only do so much. The rest of the cast of characters is almost universally uninteresting, Colin Farrell is wasted as Fowl Sr, Judi Dench is just there and there’s a fairy who is just as smug as our boy Arty.

Oh, and there’s also a scene where a supporting character is killed and the movie treats it as this big heartbreaking moment, but as the character had sod all development, I didn’t feel a damn thing. Not that it would matter if I did, it’s because it’s then undone with magic.

I lost all interest in this movie, and honestly, an hour or so after watching it, I’m struggling to remember much about it.

Weak sauce. 2/10.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.

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