Would You Rather? Part 5: Nightcrawler > Professor Xavier

Would you rather be famous when you’re alive and forgotten when you die or unknown when alive but famous after death?

I think I’d actually prefer to have a legacy that lived on after me than be famous. I don’t think I’d be well suited for fame.

Like most people I’ve daydreamed about being famous and rubbing shoulders with celebrities, but I think the reality would be far less fun. You’d probably find out people you admire are idiots, and get fed up with being bothered. I also don’t think I’d play the game well and wind up putting my foot in it a fair few times, which would be embarrassing.

…die if you don’t slap a new person on the butt every 12 hours or die if you didn’t kill somebody every year?

Crikey. That’s a tough one.

Obviously I don’t want to murder anyone, but the alternative is slapping a stranger every twelve hours. While you might be able to arrange some of them to be consensual, you’d probably struggle to find a new person for every time, and then you’re entering the realms of what could be seen as sexual harassment.

So, one murder every year could actually hurt less people.

And I mean, I could pick my victims? Mercy killings? Would that justify it? Is killing anyone ever justified?

…have an unlimited international first class ticket or never have to pay for food in a restaurant again? 

Right, the restaurant one sounds like the better deal. You eat out more often than you travel aboard, so in the long run you’d actually save more cash.

But the thing is, I can already go to restaurants, but my travel options are more limited.

Travel is a lot of cash in one go, whereas restaurants are smaller expenses but more often. So, I’d pick the first class ticket and go to places that otherwise I wouldn’t be able to.

…eat rice with every meal or eat bread with every meal?

Umm, bread I guess. It goes with more stuff, you can use it to mop up sauces and probably wouldn’t get boring as quickly as rice.

…be hired for a well paid job you lied to get and have no idea what to do or be about to give the most important presentation of your life and forget all the material you had prepared?

The presentation, I reckon I could blag that for a short time as opposed to spending ages at the job pretending to know what I’m doing. That just seems exhausting, so I’d opt for the brief humiliation over the long term faff.

…be an amazing artist but not be able to see the art you produce or a great musician who can never hear what they’ve played?

Man, this one is kinda complicated, as both would suck.

On balance I’d go for the artist option, because once the painting is done I wouldn’t need to look at it again, whereas as a musician I think there’s probably some satisfaction in hearing your own stuff and witnessing people enjoying it.

…every shirt you wear be itchy or only be able to use 1 ply toilet paper?

The itchy shirt would be more annoying and impractical, and you’d look like you had fleas or something.

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And with the toilet paper you could always fold it over. Simple.

…teleport anywhere or be able to read minds?

I’ve never seen the appeal of telepathy, which is always portrayed as this great power to have. But I imagine it would cause more problems, as you’d be bound to hear some stuff you didn’t want to know.

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But teleportation? That would be pretty sweet, mainly because I could sleep later and still make it to work on time, and also for generally getting about. And let’s face it, you’d rather be Nightcrawler than Professor X, wouldn’t you?

Agree with my choices or think I’m completely wrong? Let me know in the comments. BETEO.

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