If at first you don’t succeed, try another 4,999 timesPosted: May 20, 2014
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take- Wayne Gretzky
Online dating can be a frustrating experience. You look for people who catch your eye and read their profile before firing off a couple of messages to try and break the ice.
Writing those messages is kinda tough. I always try to pick up on what the girl has on her profile and get the tone right, friendly and light, steering clear of being creepy.
I won’t lie, I don’t always get replies. That’s the nature of the game, you might not be someone’s cup of tea, or they may have had lots of messages and no time to reply. You just move on and try again.
Online dating is something of a numbers game, unless you win the love lottery and wind up with a serious contender for future life partner right off the bat. You have to read a lot of profiles and send out a lot of messages, that’s how it works, even if after a while it can feel a bit demoralizing.
Bearing this in mind I was rather impressed with a recent story I read which revealed that a dude in Serbia had sent messages to 5000 women on Facebook looking for a date.
I felt bad for the dude who admits that he has problems talking to woman face to face. I get that, and the internet does make it easier. Although at the same time it has it’s flaws, like I said, I always worry that I’m getting the tone wrong and going to come across as a creep, intent and tone is harder to read in text than face-to-face.
There’s also the fact that online dating is primarily looks based. Your profile picture has to encourage people to want to find more, which isn’t ideal for an ugly son of a bitch like me. In person, and with Dutch courage, I can chat to someone I like and hopefully do so in a goofy, funny way that doesn’t result in them being offended or with me crossing a line.
As I’ve got older I’ve found it a bit easier to approach people and a bit better at knowing when to leave without overstaying my welcome.
Now this dude, clearly feels to nervous to do that and uses social network. I don’t know what he puts in his messages, but it seems from that article that he seems to genuinely just want to fall in love, so I can’t see him sending anything seriously creepy, although he may be coming on a bit strong. And the fact that he’s messaging women he has no connection to might be unsettling for them.
But it’s the numbers I admire.
To have the strength to just keep trying. I think if I was consistently not getting any response (only 15 have got back in touch with him) I’d knock it on it’s head. Just live single for a while, because, honestly, while I have spells where it bugs the hell out of me, for the most part I’m okay, my natural shallowness allowing me to easily distract myself with music, books, movies and Mario Kart.
But this guy just picks himself up, dusts himself off and keeps looking. It might have got him negative attention and I do think he’s going about it the wrong way,perhaps he should go on a dating site instead of just randomly messaging women on Facebook. On dating sites you know what they’re looking for, and actually seeking a relationship. And while it’s a numbers game he might benefit from picking prospective partners with a higher level of discretion.
Anyway, I hope that he finds someone eventually.
Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.