Nightlife NeurosisPosted: October 12, 2013
I went out into Cardiff last night. It was a pretty fun night even though I drank a little too much and fell into a kind of big brother role for some of the night, but the worst thing is that it highlighted what an insecure mess I am.
I’ve been at uni for about 3 weeks now, and in that time I’ve gotten to know my flatmates a bit and chatted with a few folks, but last night none of my flatmates were out due to various reasons (gone home, don’t drink, hadn’t paced themselves and were too drunk to go out, out with other people) and I found myself going out with some folks from another flat who I know through my flatmates.
They’re cool people, and we had a laugh, but aside from a previous night out I hadn’t spent much time with them. Still, they were nice and we had a good time dancing like muppets.
This brings us to the first problem I had while out, the club we went to, Tiger Tiger, has an old school room where they apparently play 80s and 90s stuff, however they also played early ’00s stuff, which is fine, but it’s really depressing that the music of my youth like Fatman Scoop’s “Be Faithful” is now regarded as retro. Gods, I’m old.
The second minor neurotic moment had me disagreeing with R Kelly’s belief that there’s nothing wrong with a little bump n’ grind. I was sitting down late in the evening, and this rather attractive lady was doing some serious booty shaking. I glanced over and then looked away, but when I did another scan she was dancing slightly closer to me. She wound up straddling my leg and grinding her arse against me.
As I said, she was attractive and doing a fine job of “twerking” but did I just enjoy it?
I know I’m not a good looking bloke, I’m no Clooney, Pitt or Gosling over here, I’m the overweight glasses wearing dude sitting down in a club. So this girl coming up to me and grinding her buttocks on my leg made me extremely nervous.
Was she doing some game with her friends? Twerk against the biggest loser you can find? Or was she in search of a sucker for some scheme like in a film noir or something?
Anyway, it made me feel really uncomfortable and I was glad when she left. But why do I feel so awkward? I’m not saying I feel I should’ve made a pass at her, but at the very least I could have tried to figure out why she was doing it, especially as she danced against me again later at the bar.
If it was some cruel joke, then that’s not cool, and I hope she twisted her ankle or something.
My other insecurity that bubbled up to the surface is my fear that people I’m hanging out with don’t like me that much. I’m sure this is common, but it always hits me on nights out, especially with new people. I worry I’m being loud and obnoxious as a drunk person can be, and that they’re annoyed or fed up.
Twice since uni I’ve picked up vibes from girls that they don’t like me. I’m not sure if they really don’t, or if it’s just my drunken paranoia, but I’m always worried that I’ve repressed saying or doing something particularly stupid during the night.
Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.