News Grab Bag: Kissing, Spitting and Bad Taste

Apologies, this is a long post. You might want to get yourself a cup of tea before you start.

Spitting Games

Spitting is quite gross, there’s no two ways about it. But at the same time, I can’t agree with the decision of Waltham Forest Council in London, who have decided to use anti-littering laws to go after gobbers.

Now here’s the thing, I can’t help feel that charging two fellas £300 for spitting is more than a tad excessive. Spit is gross, no doubt about it, and unhygienic, but 300 quid for something that’s going to get washed away or absorbed into the ground? Dude, that’s not kosher.

I think because I run my view on spitting has changed, I always used to be a bit grossed out when athletes spat on the pitch but when you run saliva does build up and swallowing it isn’t always a good idea. I speak as someone who’s choked on his own spit. So you gotta get rid of it. One of the by products of my running is that I’ve become a much more accurate spitter and so I tend to aim for drains, bins or bushes, and I don’t think that’s the same as me tossing a can on a floor.

So, Waltham Forest, I think you’re being a dick on this one. Read.

Headline cashing cheques the story can’t cash

The other day I saw a headline that said “Penis-Shaped Pillars Arouse Controversy in Scott Township, Pennsylvania” and of course I clicked on it. I mean, who wouldn’t? I thought that I could get a childish giggle from some overly phallic architecture but I was sorely disappointed, these are the pillars in question:

ngb penis

They’re not overly phallic. I mean, you’d have to be pretty cock-obsessed to look at that and see one. Methinks this has less to do with the design and more to do with somebody’s desire to get some man meat. You want phallic design, take a look at this bad boy:

ngb penis 2

Clothing Controversy 1- Richard Dawkins is backing you up? Not a good sign.

The other week I attended the society fair here at Cardiff Uni. I went along and picked up a few flyers (sci-fi, some bone marrow thing and resisted the urge to go to the “Earth spirituality” stall just because the girl running it looked bored and was kinda foxy) while there I saw an atheistic society. I’m always puzzled by these groups. I’m agnostic, but I can’t understand why you’d join a group focused on what you don’t believe in. I don’t believe in fairies (sorry, Tink) or ghosts, but I don’t feel the need to join a Anti-Fairy and Spooks Soc.

It doesn’t help that quite often these hardcore atheists turn out to be a humourless bunch of intolerant douchebags, who’s mockery of and misguided sense of superiority over believers is infuriating. They show the same intolerant, black-and-white world view as they ascribe to those they rail against, only without the compassionate underpinnings of the major religions.

It’s like a generation of Richard Dawkins, he blueprint for this kind of smug, atheism. If you don’t believe, fair enough, but don’t go round being a dick about it. You’re just as bad as someone trying to shove a Bible down somebody’s throat.

Dawkins has ridden to the defence of the London School of Economics’ Atheist, Secularist and Humanist Student Society, who have been told to cover up their shirts which depict Jesus and Mohammad sharing a pint together.

Here’s the thing. That shirt’s just wrong, and if you wear it, you’re a dick.

You don’t believe in God or Allah? Whatever. But to wear a shirt featuring Mohammad, who to Muslims is kind of a big deal and who is not supposed to be represented in art? That’s just disrespectful. It’s downright rude. You want a healthy debate on religion and secularism, first thing you gotta do is have some damn respect. Why the hell should anyone engage with you or give you the time of day when you’re showing this level of disrespect.

Just because you don’t agree with someone’s beliefs doesn’t give you the right to disregard them or treat them with insensitivity and rudeness. I’m not surprised that Dawkins has backed them up, he seems increasingly like a massive tool. I just can’t believe that the students considered it acceptable to wear them. I mean, has not one member of the society got an ounce of decency or common sense?

You’re not standing up to someone using religion as an oppressive tool, you’re just offending and disrespecting a massive section of the population and your fellow students. Morons.

So LSE were right to tell them to cover up. Hell, they should’ve issued an official warning saying this kind of stuff isn’t to be tolerated- this is offensive behaviour. Story.

Oh no! It is Gay-rah!

Ah, anti-gay rhetoric. It may be odious and vile, but damn it if those bigots don’t have some crackpot ideas that are almost amusing. A personal favourite of mine is the “gays cause natural disasters” school of thought, where tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis etc., are explained as God showing his anger at homosexuality.

The thing I like about this is that it makes God look a damn sight worse than the gays. If God really hates the gays, then this is a horribly ineffective and childish display of that anger. Come on, Big Guy, if you hate it so much, why invent them or make it so fun? It’s like me inventing the world and including Llanelli RFC. I’m to blame for annoying myself. But let’s skip that argument, if the gays annoy you, go after them. Devastating an entire country just because a small section of the population elsewhere has just got marriage equality seems ridiculous. It’s like me taking my anger towards Loose Women by burning down a local school.

Recently, the Gambian president and grade-A asshat, Yahya Jammeh, gave a speech to the UN where he had a pop at homosexuality and said it was a threat to the existence of human life. It’s odd to me that someone on a continent which has famine, civil wars and a massive problem with AIDS and other diseases, should focus on the gays as the problem that needs sorting out.

Now Jammeh is clearly a bigot and his comments should have seen him get heckled and reviled, and we should have a look at how Gambian homosexuals are being treated. But, he did give me a laugh, mainly because he stated that homosexuality, along with greed and obsession with power (odd coming from someone who’s sought out the position of President) as being “more deadly than all natural disasters put together”.

I don’t know about you, but if I was trying to drum up hatred for a group, I wouldn’t make them sound like a kaiju. I read that quote and childish as it might be, the first image to pop into my head was of a Godzilla sized John Barrowman laying waste to Tokyo.

Behold, the terrifying homosexual!

Behold, the terrifying homosexual!


Gays aren’t dangerous, accepting homosexuality isn’t wishing for the end of mankind, and it’s not going to cause that. I suggest that Jammeh pull his head out of his ass, realize that it’s the 21st century, focus on the real problems or else Elton John might just level Banjul.

Clothing Controversy 2: Halloween Horror Show

There’s been a lot of controversy hear in the UK over some costumes depicting “mental patients”. I get where people are coming from, even if these costumes have very little resemblance to actual mental patients and are just continuing the horror movie troop of the demented maniac killer. Turns out this isn’t uncommon.

What I found most disturbing however is the fact that one shop sold an “Annie Rexia” costume.

Anyone who actually bought this is a lady-dick

Anyone who actually bought this is a lady-dick

This isn’t just generic “nutter” territory, this is a specific condition which ruins people’s lives and causes a lot of pain and upset. To trivialize it like this is just horrific.

The insensitivity is staggering and like with the shirt mentioned earlier in this post, I can’t quite fathom how the idea got that far along without someone putting up their hand and going “Dude, what are you thinking?”. Thankfully it was quickly pulled from the shelves.

You’re better than this, Morocco!

I went to Morocco a few years back and, aside from Tangier, found it a lovely place. The locals are pretty friendly, the sights are glorious and the culture is interesting. It also seemed like a good example of a country which seemed to have kept it’s traditions but embraced the modern world.

So, I was a little disappointed by the fact that two teenagers have been arrested there, with a third looking likely to join them.

What did these youths do?

They kissed and shared it on Facebook.

The couple, aged 14 and 15, had a bit of a kiss, as lovestruck teenagers are wont to do, and a mate snapped a picture. It got put on Facebook.

The local paper in the town of Nador got a hold of the picture and ran it. I can only imagine that not a lot is going on in Nador. The paper drummed it up to being a massive attack on public decency and the two kids got nicked.

They’re due to appear before juvenile court next week and one hopes that sanity and common sense will prevail, and that the judge will remember the words of the song from a famous film set in the country- “a kiss is just a kiss”. Makes me rather glad I didn’t end up having a holiday romance there.


Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.


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