What? CHRIS is evolving!Posted: September 12, 2013
At 7am today I finished a night shift. My last night shift at my job.
I’ve been at my job for just under four and a half years, so it
felt feels weird to know that I’m not going to be heading there anymore.
I can’t lie and say that the whole time I was there I was happy and pleased to work there, like every job it had bad days and stresses (even those that seem cool and perfect like professional wrestler or masseur to the stars). There were times when it really got me down, leaving me tired, fed up and desperate for a break or change.
But, like everything that you’re around for a while you get used to it, and moving on to something new can seem daunting.
The closer I get to going to university the more I find myself filled with nervous excitement. Studying to be a nurse is going to be hard work, and as my previous uni experience was doing Film Studies and drinking too much and I’m finding myself swamped by doubts as it looms larger on the horizon.
- That I’m not going to cope well on placements
- I’m going to be older than a lot of my fellow students which might make it to awkward to make friends. Although at the same time, being immature might cancel that out.
- That I’ll flunk out
- My old uni habits of drinking too much, wasting money and eating junk food will cancel out my attempts to lose weight and negatively impact my studies.
- That by the time I graduate the NHS will have been scrapped and I’ll find it even harder to get a job and be saddled with even more student loan.
- That I will be skint for a lot of the time at uni.
- That not having a TV will mean I miss Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
As well as fears about the future, leaving my job has made me take stock of what I’ve had in my life and what I’ll miss. I’ve been lucky enough to have several great colleagues over the year, and to have a job which, when you look at the big picture can be quite withdrawing. I feel that I’ve actually helped people and that their lives have improved because of the support I’ve provided.
Of course, we don’t live in the big picture and day-to-day it could be quite challenging and hard to see it that way. Small improvements can go unnoticed, and progress was slow in the kind of work I did.
I could have wimped out, stuck with a job that I could live off and knew how to do, but I think I need to challenge and stretch myself while I’m free of responsibility and can do so. I’m grateful to my old employees and the job I had because it taught me a lot about myself. Becoming a support worker was not something I’d planned to do, or something I’d ever thought about doing, and when I got the job I was nervous. I think my family were a bit surprised when I started doing it too, it didn’t seem very me but I think I surprised them by sticking with it and I surprised myself by doing it for so long and for doing it fairly well.
I got praised for my attitude and my work, which was great and nice to know I was doing well. I’m not saying I was perfect, I made mistakes and could have handled some aspects of the job better at times, but I think for the most part I did well. It taught me that I was more mature and patient than I thought. It also made me realize that I’m capable of keeping my head in stressful situations, can make decisions under pressure and am not squeamish.
It’s what inspired me to apply for nursing, the realization I can handle tough situations and a bit of icky-ness, and also that the part of the job I like the most was
Like I said, I’m extremely nervous and part of me wishes I didn’t have to change, but I think sooner or later you need to move on and evolve so that you can become something better, like Charmander becoming Charizard.
I hope the younger kids get 90s cartoon references, or I’m screwed.
Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.