Running, Bragging and WheelingPosted: April 19, 2013 | |
I haven’t written about running for a while (in fact this was the last post on the topic), this has been for a couple of reasons- I had a bit of a wobble in February and March, and while there were factors that effected my running (work, going away, moving house) a lot of it is on me. Towards the end of March I got a bit better and I’m pretty proud of myself for April so far.
I’ve moved back in with my parents so I’m running a different route, which is a bit rougher than my old one down to the marina in Swansea, because it’s not as flat around here, which makes it going. I’ve also decided that I’m going to try and get at least 5 runs in a week. Even working nights I can usually muster up enough energy to do a 50 minute run (Christmas and pre-Christmas laziness means that my stamina took a bit of a hit and I’ve had to work back up to an hour from 45 minutes).
Another reason I stopped posting about it was brought home today by a comment someone left on my Facebook page.
My Nike+ account is linked with my Facebook and Twitter accounts, so that when I upload a run it posts them to my accounts there too. I like this feature but I’ve always worried it might look like I’m bragging.
I worry about this because, well, I am kind of doing it to brag.
It’s not the only reason I do it, but, if I’m being honest, there is an element of “look at what I’ve done”. Pathetic, I know. Especially when my running exploits aren’t particularly noteworthy. On a personal level I’m proud of them, and I’ve come a long way, but I know that I’m still some distance off being properly fit.
I post the updates because I like when people give me positive feedback, that kind of encouragement helps spur me on, and not give up.
But I also do it for a sense of accountability. If I don’t run people will know, I can’t hide my laziness. This in turn spurs me on. When I don’t run I feel bad, like a failure, especially when there’s no legitimate reason to stop me going for a run. It’s a bad feeling, and I hate the self loathing that comes with it, but I hate myself for tons of other weaknesses already, but being viewed as a lazy, fat slob by other people hurts more. So, I post the runs so that everyone knows I’m trying, and I post them because I know if they stop everyone will know that Lazy Chris has taken the reins again.
When my friend posted “I just had a Wagon Wheel” after today’s run update I don’t think he was trying to be mean, but it raised a lot of questions.
Does updating my runs make me look like I’m bragging about them?
And do I feel bad about looking like a braggart because that’s kind of what I am?
And does the shop down the road sell Wagon Wheels?
Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.