News Grab Bag: Bumf, Bump and Beasties

People of Eastleigh, I salute you

After MP and world class douche Chris Huhne had to step down there was a by-election in Eastleigh. This has taken on massive significance and all the heavy hitters waded in, the results aren’t out yet, but apparently the Lib Dems look likely to hold the seat.

As with all elections it brings tons of pointless leaflets from every party as they try and get your votes. It’s a major pain in the neck, and so I was delighted that some of the folk in the area started posting anti-leaflet signs in their windows, like this:


My personal favourite is this one:


You can see more here.

Now over to China for a crazy update

I’ve spoken before about my personal code regarding giving up seats on public transport (basically anyone who looks like they’re going to have trouble standing up, age and gender not necessarily being enough to get you my seat) and one of the groups who are guaranteed my seat are pregnant ladies. It’s just the decent thing to do.

So, I’m a little infuriated by the actions of this lady out East, known only as Zhang.

Zhang uses the Chinese subway system and like us all would prefer to sit, but Zhang decided to take extra steps to get other folks to give up their seats.

A fake pregnancy belly.

Yes, she attached this thing underneath her clothes to try and get a seat on the train. Until one day something broke and the fake belly fell out. The jig was most definitely up and apparently she was subjected to mockery.

Now, instead of just taking her licks and the embarrassment caused due to her own actions, Zhang chose to complain to the company who made the fake bump.

I can't believe this is actually a thing.
I can’t believe this is actually a thing.

Here’s the thing, yes, the bump didn’t do what was advertised, but at the same time, it’s been designed to essentially let people be selfish, duplicitous tools. If you’re complaining you’re essentially whinging that you haven’t been able to trick enough people and exploit their basic decency and good manners.

Personally I feel Zhang deserved any embarrassment she experienced because quite frankly, she’s a douche and I think it’s an example of karma in action.

Mocked? She’s damn lucky I wasn’t aboard the train or I’d have had some pretty choice words for her.

Story here.

If you’re going to follow someone it helps if they have a nice arse

I don’t think anyone can predict what’s going to be the next internet viral, for example, a set of pictures by a Russian photographer, Murad Osmann have got popular on the internet through his Instagram account.

Osmann went around the world with his girlfriend and took a series pictures of her leading him by the hand to various things. The pictures are kinda cool because of the places they went, and rather sweet if you take them as representing her helping him embrace new experiences and stuff, or a sign of her enthusiasm for things.

I can’t help thinking that the pictures have become more popular because Osmann’s girlfriend is rather attractive from the back, and I wonder if they’d have been so popular if she didn’t have such an attractive posterior. I’m just saying, I think the “Pippa effect” might be at work here.


Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

On his podcast, SModcast, Kevin Smith routinely discusses that he’s petrified of the ocean and doesn’t like to go in the water, like Chief Brody. I’ve always thought this was rather daft, despite having watched far too many sea creature features, the main deterrent for me swimming in the sea is that I live in South Wales and the sea here is usually teeth shakingly cold.

However, I’ll be a little more wary of going into the blue now, because of two stories where some messed up stuff emerged from the waves.

First, there’s this terrifying Alien-looking mother caught in New Jersey.

Bloody hell.
Bloody hell.

And then more worrying is this monstrosity that washed up right here in Wales.

Worst of all, the Huffington Post points out this isn’t the first freakish thing to get thrown up onto a beach.

That is one ugly mother-
That is one ugly mother-

Seriously guys, never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right!

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.

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