The Lone Wolf and the Nipple Tassels

Despite living in a shared house with three other dudes I spend most of my time by myself.

This is partly because the shifts I do at work leave me on a different schedule as everyone else but also because while we live together we’re not really friends. We’re just four guys who have moved into a house share with some other people who were already there. That’s not to say we don’t get on, it’s just we don’t know much about each other (one of my housemates only has 1 arm, and he’s lived here well over 6 months and I still have no idea what the deal is, I didn’t want to ask at the start and appear rude, but the longer I leave it the more awkward it is to bring it up at all).

We chat when we see each other and I’ve hung out with a couple of them at different times (including tonight where I talked football and played computer games- look Geppetto I’m a real boy!) , but it’s essentially like we all have our own boxes and aside from showering and eating we very rarely venture from them, although I do use the living room to chill out in sometimes when I get cabin fever in my room.

I quite like having time to myself and can spend ages on my own with the internet, books or movies to entertain myself. While I love chatting and joking with other people I’m quite comfortable being by myself as a kind of loner, which is probably a response to growing up in quite a crowded house, as it’s made me value peace and space more.

Although I have noticed that it means I have a weird manic energy when I see friends and family and tend to prattle on more than I usually do, this is part of the reason that  I’m going to try and be more sociable in 2013, because I’m not entirely sure it’s good for my sanity to spend this much time alone.

Take for example the weird little thoughts I have when I’m alone. Some of these are good- ideas for stories and stuff, but I also notice I’ve developed a habit of singing to myself, this is because the house is quiet and I assume everyone’s out so it’s awkward when I hear someone moving around as I’m halfway through belting out “I Dreamed a Dream” while making myself a pizza.

There are other things I do which are equally weird, for example, I can’t cross the room with a knife or item of cutlery in hand, without trying to twirl them in my hands like you see people do with swords in movies. I can’t stop myself despite my fear that one day I’m going to end up cutting off a finger as I try and channel my inner Deadpool.

Okay, before any comic book fans attack me for using a pic of Ryan Reynolds, this is the kind of sword swinging I try and copy

Okay, before any comic book fans attack me for using a pic of Ryan Reynolds, this is the kind of sword swinging I try and copy

Another random impulse that I’ve managed to resist is trying on the nipple tassels.

One of the previous tenants here left behind a set of nipple tassels, still in the box. They were found during a tidy up and have sat on our kitchen table ever since.

tassels 001

At first they were subject of a fair amount of curiosity, but soon they just became something left lying around.

But the other day, while bored and waiting for the kettle to boil I saw them and took them out of the box.

tassels 002


I was intrigued as to how the wearer would keep them in place and part of me was rather tempted to try them on, thankfully, I resisted. I can explain singing showtunes by blaming the ubiquitous Les Mis trailers, but would struggle to talk my way out of being stood in the kitchen wearing nipple tassels.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.


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