Cer i grafu

Literal translation: “Go to scratch”, but usually viewed as rude/offensive, like a slightly harsher “get lost!”

I’m fairly proud of my Welsh heritage.


I cheer on the boys in the rugby and the football, I get pissed off with the usual stupid disses that people (generally English) hit us with-

  • The weather stuff- Yeah, it rains here, a lot, but it’s not like the other side of the Severn Bridge is the Costa del Sol.
  • That we’re just “part of England” or “not a real country”- The thing is we’re part of Britain, but if that makes us not be a country anymore then it means England ain’t a country either.
  • That our accent is stupid- Have you heard of Scousers, Geordies or Brummies?
  • That our women are rough and/or less classy- See above.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m painfully aware of my homeland’s faults. There are things about Wales I don’t like, and ideally I’d like to move away at some point and see more of the world, but I’m allowed to slag it off. Because I’m from here. It’s like a family member, you can mock them and point out their flaws, but that doesn’t mean that if somebody else does it you’re going to take it.

Part of the thing I love/hate about Wales is the Welsh language. Having been educated in the Welsh language until I was 16, I should be fluent but since leaving school I’ve barely spoken Welsh, and while I’m still pretty good at reading and listening to it, my own speaking of the language is creaky at best.

I think this is mainly due to my school, where I’d say the majority of the staff were tools. Welsh was hammered home as the school language and so it became as much a part of all their restrictive rules as the uniform and in turn meant it was something that for many of us was something we didn’t like. Our families were mainly English-speaking at home, and so that was our first language, so we’d speak English at break time, and Welsh was only used during lessons or when talking to teachers.

You want to turn a bunch of kids off to something? Make a big deal out of it and force them to do it.

The thing is as I’ve gotten older I do view this with a little bit of regret, I mean, I regret not working harder on my French, as it would be more practical, but my ineptitude in the Welsh language is a little bit embarrassing.

But I like that the Welsh language has survived, I like that they do try and teach every kid in Wales at least a little bit of it. And I like that we have bilingual road signs, whenever I go abroad or to England the first bilingual sign is the point where I know I’m home.

Wales tries to be bilingual as much as possible, with signs and stuff, but we’re an English speaking country and Welsh is the minority language, but it’s nice to preserve it and celebrate our unique heritage.

Some cats however, take it too far. I’m not down with any of those people who whinge about the Welsh language or insist everyone learns it, and the same goes for English. Sure, if you visit another country you should try to pick up a few useful phrases, but let’s not get carried away, especially with Welsh as a large section of Welsh people don’t actually speak it.

I especially don’t like those bigots who insist on every immigrant automatically learning English and abandoning their own culture, to which I can say it’s a bit rich coming from people who generally only know their own language and can’t even be bothered to learn a few words when they go on holiday. Also, ironically, you often find these people’s own language skills are rather lacking.

So, when I heard the story of Dr Robyn Lewis refusing to pay at a shop because the cashier spoke English to him I thought, “You, sir, are a turbodouche.”

Lewis was in the Spar in Pwllheli when the cashier told him he needed to pay £58.62 for his shopping. At which point Lewis in a display of petulance and belligerence that would be irritating and pathetic in a small child, refused to pay. The cops arrived to sort out the problem and thankfully a Welsh speaking staff member was found and Lewis was able to leave and spread his idiocy elsewhere.

Lewis apparently complained that he felt “humiliated” because the police arrived, but you kind of had to think that it’s his fault. It was him who kicked up a fuss about literally nothing, I mean, he understood what the cashier asked for, so why not pay and leave? The poor cashier was probably stuck there faced with someone who was coming across as some kind of mental and probably felt really awkward.

The story is here, and is infuriating just because of the sheer rudeness and needless douchery of Lewis. Lewis is apparently one of the druids associated with the Eisteddfod, a Welsh festival of competition and celebration which includes prizes for Welsh literature. It also involves forcing bored kids to take part, embarrassing nationalism and further distances the Welsh TV channel S4C from being able to appear relevant or engaging for young audiences.

As you can tell, I’m not a fan.

Being a druid is considered an honour, although I can’t really see the appeal of being made part of an order who’s main duty is presiding over a festival that a large part of the public don’t care about and looking like a tool in your robes.

Lewis in his role as a druid, hard to take anyone seriously once you've seen them look this much of an arse.

Lewis in his role as a druid, hard to take anyone seriously once you’ve seen them look this much of an arse.

I have no sympathy for Lewis, as he caused this problem for himself and if I was one of the coppers I don’t think I’d have been so understanding and just made him cough up, and maybe even booked him for wasting police time.

Guy’s a major league ass hat and if I ever meet him I’ll tell him that. In English, of course.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.



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