Yeah, so today I’m going to be writing about porn so if the subject offends you, or you’re my Mum, I’d advise you to not read any further.
I’m a single guy, so I look at porn. Not excessively, but fairly regularly.
I particularly like amateur porn, because its less staged and fake, and also as a fan of curvier women the stars are more my type. Also, they’re more similar to the kind of women I might actually have a slight shot with, whereas a Gianna Michaels, Sara Jay or Sophie Dee is an entirely unrealistic fantasy figure.
There’s also a slightly weird obsession I have with the fact that I might one day stumble across pictures of someone I know, which might actually be immensely awkward and unpleasant in reality, but is still something of a fantasy of mine.
There’s also less guilt involved. I’ve heard about some of the damaged souls attracted to the porn industry and it feels rather exploitative at times, whereas the homemade stuff is usually more cheap and cheerful. I appreciate that sometimes the personal photos have been uploaded by embittered exes or the like, possibly without the permission of those involved, and that is a bit of a downer, and one of my frequent post-wank guilt trips. Thanks Catholic genes.
Yet, I like to think that for some of these amateur pornstars it is something they’ve chosen, something they get a kick out of. Whereas, despite all their statements in interviews, I never fully buy that pornstars enjoy themselves, I mean, physically they must do, but I’m not sure they’re as happy as they make out.
Anyway, the other day I was flicking through some stuff the other day and I stumbled across this picture of a girl which was an instant libido killer, as it was just kind of sad.
The photo featured a girl of I’d guess around 19, maybe a little older. She was nude in the photo, but the picture was rather unsexy. She had her legs raised and a permanent marker sticking out of her arse, which I can’t really see the point of. I mean, sure for dudes anal stimulation can get results, but does it have the same effect on women, and is it ever going to be as pleasurable as going in the front door (yes, despite what I’m writing about and some of the stuff I’ve already written I’m still feeling a tad uncomfortable with discussing this). I don’t know, I’m not a woman and its not something I can really ask my female friends, without causing awkwardness. Or getting slapped.
The thing was, despite the girl being pretty and the overtly sexual nature of the picture, it wouldn’t have done anything for me, but what made it go beyond merely not appealing to being actually sad was the sign she held up.
She was holding a piece of paper up and written on it (possibly with the aforementioned pen) was: “Don’t ever say I don’t love you”.
That made me feel bad.
Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but to me that seems to give the impression that the picture was intended for a boyfriend, and not meant for a wider audience.
Worst of all though is the wording of the sign, which suggests that this douche bag boyfriend had played the “If you love me you’d do it for me” card, which is always a total fink move to pull.
I felt a range of emotions, none of them good. I felt bad for the girl, intense loathing for the boyfriend and more than a little guilty. In truth it kind of soured my whole view of porn and I shut down all the windows there and then and didn’t look at anymore porn.
For about two days until I got horny again.
Sometimes I hate myself.
Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.