What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?Posted: November 20, 2012
Since I’ve joined a dating site I’ve stumbled across the profiles of a handful of girls I already knew. These included old classmates from school, a girl I once fooled around with at a gig and most recently some colleagues.
I find it really weird when I’m looking through my “matches” and suddenly I see a familiar face. The thing is, while I may have found some of these girls attractive (I was quite smitten with one of the girls from school back in the day) it makes me rather uncomfortable, I mean, aside from these blogs I like to keep my online dating on the quiet (almost put “on the down-low” but realized it would make me sound like a douche).
I think I’ve mentioned in the past that I have a kind of old school view of internet dating seeing it as being a little bit lame, despite the fact that I am one of the people who use it.
Anyway, the other thing about seeing people I know on dating sites is that when I see their picture pop up I really want to read their profile, mainly to get some insight into what they’re looking for and how they see themselves. I’d say this is almost entirely curiosity, with about a 90-10 split of curiosity versus actual attraction.
The thing is, when I check out their profiles I always feel a little nervous as the site I’m a member of lets you see who’s viewed you, so I’m worried they’re going to see my profile too, which could be bad for various reasons:
- It could open me up to ridicule if they told other people, “I can’t believe that scruffy wanker thinks anyone would want to date him!”
- They might judge me for being on a dating site, if they have the same weird double standard that I do
- They might read my profile and mock me to themselves
- They might think that because I’ve looked at their profile I’m interested in them. Which might be a bit awkward.
- They might think that because I’ve looked at their profile and not done anything about it that I find them unattractive or unappealing, and having felt that pain myself I’d hate to think I was inflicting it on somebody else.
I know that maybe I should just stop looking at the profiles of people I actually know, but deep down I know that my curiosity will get the best of me and I’ll keep checking them out.
On a related note, when I told a mutual acquaintance of one of the people was on the dating site responded with words along the lines of “What’s she need to be on a dating site for, a nice, pretty girl like her would have no trouble pulling.” It was rather sweet and I happen to agree, but at the same time it also felt like a bit of a kick to the nuts as it was almost like they were saying “She’s too nice and attractive to be dating online, that’s the preserve for the socially awkward uggos like you, Chris”.
Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.