Random Song: My Humps by Alanis Morissette

If there’s a musical heaven and hell the Black Eyed Peas are guaranteed a seat in the ninth circle. From the twee “Where is the Love?” through a cavalcade of dross they’re responsible for some of the most soul-crushingly awful pop music ever made.

William, who appears to be the, and I use the term loosely, talent of the group clearly has some skill in making short catchy riffs, and would be ideally suited to making ringtones, however, he insists on stretching out his 15 seconds of average work to full length, repetitive pop songs.

Perhaps their worst offence is the quite dreadful “My Humps” and ode to the body of female member Fergie, and her use of this to get stuff from guys.

 

Incidentally, while there’s not denying that Fergie is an attractive lady, the awfulness of her music (aside from her solo effort “London Bridge”, which is quite funky) has cancelled this out in my mind. As far as I can remember, this is the only time this has ever happened.

Fergie: Irritation > Attraction.

Here’s the song, but don’t come crying to me if it gets lodged in your head.

Its a painfully vacuous, vain and shallow song that I’ve always hated.

However, to fully understand the awfulness of the lyrics you need to check out this rather charming cover of the song by Alanis Morissette.

Sticking to the lyrics crafted by William and co., Morissette transforms the song. She takes Fergie’s moronic bragging and plays it down, transforming the swaggering empty headed track into something more melancholic. Instead of delighting in looks and the power it has over men, it laments the objectification and the singer’s treatment.

Its a wonderfully clever approach, delivering the stupid lyrics in a deadpan, somber way that renders it an almost tragic study of shallowness and attitudes towards women. It’d be like having Helen Mirren read the tweets of a vapid playmate.

And like I said, it shows how awful some of the lyrics are, this is after all that coined the phrase “lady lumps”. Sweet Christmas, that’s bad.

Well done, Alanis.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.

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