London 2012 Part 1: The Guiltiest Sport

So, finally the Olympics have got going and today I finally managed to get round to watching some of the action, having missed everything so far due to working. I didn’t even see the opening ceremony, well anything more than a few countries marching into the stadium, which is always oddly entertaining as you get to see the smaller countries who rock up with a squad of about 8 people, and kudos to Russia for picking Maria Sharapova to carry their flag in and automatically bagging the hottest flag bearer prize.

The gorgeous Maria Sharapova

Anyway, today I settled in to watch some of the events and managed to cover a fair few- cycling, canoeing, judo and women’s gymnastics.

Gymnastics is one of my favourite sports to watch at the games.

I quite like the simpler, purer sports- where its not about equipment or even team work and is purely about individual physical prowess. I know the team members scores are added up to give rankings for the country, but while they’re out there its all about the individual.

The athletes have to master several different events- floor, vault, uneven bars and the beam. Each one has different demands and requires a vast array of skills. Its utterly mesmerising to watch as they do these amazing things, the skill involves commands respect

And its a tough event, taking physical strength, grace and agility, as well as courage. I always marvel when they do flips and jumps on the beam, its a ridiculous event, a tiny line of wood that they have to jump around on with abandon.


The thing that bothers me about the event is the fact that the event involves girls walking around in tight, skimpy outfits, which adds to the appeal in a way although does often provoke panicy Googling to check ages of competitors to calm my conscience.

Although I found out today that you have to be at least 16 to take part in the Olympics  now, and apparently has been the case for years, which is good, as I thought you could be even younger, knowing that back in the 70s some 14 year old scored a perfect 10 at the games, which I think is what made me always feel slightly bad about watching the event.

Even though I can relax a little knowing that all the girls taking part are legal (for foreign readers the age of consent in the UK is 16) I still feel a little bad about it because there’s more than a 10 year age gap and that just makes me feel like a bit of a dirty old man.

The guilt-provoking Gabrielle Douglas (16).

Personally, I kind of take the approach expressed by Calvin Harris in his song “Acceptable in the 80s”. I can appreciate that girls born after that decade are attractive but for me December 31st 1989 is the cut off point for girls I’d date. Any younger and its more than a 5 year age gap and also, they’d be the same age, or younger than my little sister, and that’d just be weird.

Under this policy I’d have to turn down Miley Cyrus (23/11/92) but could still date Taylor Swift (13/12/89), which I’m sure must be the source of great joy to Miss Swift.

I’m sorry if that breaks the hearts of any 90s born girls reading this.

Sorry that this first Olympics post has been a little pervy, but I’m rather sleep deprived and promise that following installments will be more sport-focused.

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO


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